80/20 for 2020 : I made chocolate cake yesterday.

It was an amazingly decadent, vegan, and gluten free cake. However, it didnt skimp on the sugar, or the carbs. I lived. I am surviving. I already had a second piece, and its not even “after dinner” yet. For years I have been the yoyo dieter. I would go on these fad diets. Restrict myself to extremes. Yes, I lost a lot of weight, and I felt “healthy,” but the side effects were awful. I would come out of a month or two of extreme restriction, ravenous for sugar and baked goods. I would make things every day. Eat more than I wanted, and the end result was me feeling worse than when I started the whole diet.

Finally, after years of doing this, I have come to a place of forgiveness, and balance. I eat healthy, and I am not just in denial about this. Most days my plates are nothing but fruits, vegetables, and clean eating is my lifestyle. But then there are days when I want that sugary, yummy deliciousness, and I indulge without the guilt. It has made all the difference. I used to hide that I ate this way, never wanted people on the outside to see that I snacked, and pigged out on cake every once in a while. It was like a double life. My internal realization and exploration has brought me to the conclusion that I am here for an experience. I am a gifted chef and baker. My passion and love of food is nothing to be ashamed of, and making a cake, and eating it, brings me JOY!

This New Year, I am not making a silly resolution, I am not running to the gym, and eating nothing but kale. I am eating cake, in my pajamas, and enjoying my day. This year I am dedicating myself to a 80/20 lifestyle, and dedicating myself to a healthy balance with food. 80% clean eating, 20% indulging. It is not about perfection, it is about the experience. BE kind. Be gentle. Be realistic.